Dear art colleagues,
Just like you, I have been contemplating the question of how to save the arts in our country for the past few weeks. So I have devised the following strategy. It is not a pretty one, but I seriously believe that it’s our only chance of survival, so please read carefully.We start by directly and completely abolishing ourselves as artists. Next, we retreat to our dusty attics or move into a ghost town in the southern part of Limburg or north east of Groningen. We close all museums, theaters, educational institutes and the lot, and deliberately choose to have a generation -or several generations- growing up without art and culture. The arts -or whatever might be left of it- goes old-fashioned underground, and the 700 million we may still receive from the government is stored in a Swiss bank account.
As a next step we secretly reinvest that money, via a number of shady little investment companies, in popular culture. For example we might become owners of a number of soccer players, start a beer brand, and to top it off, become major shareholders of SBS6 television. Cent by cent we invest in regaining a powerful position at the center of society, which is a much better place to reside at than the present one, and take it from there.
It is important though that we don’t kill off the opportunities that arise by acting too severe and rigid. Sensationalism needs to be avoided at any cost. Take for example a soccer player that starts dancing a choreography by Hans van Manen during a match…It will arouse suspicion. Or imagine SBS6 broadcasting a program on literature on prime time…Not done. Soccer should remain soccer and SBS6 should continue broadcasting their usual crap. The turnaround is a multi-annual plan and must be done in a subtle way. Otherwise everyone will zap away again.
For a successful renaissance at the heart of society I wish to implement several successful concepts of ‘undercover marketing’:
